My Immortal MOCKERY
by MinamiAmi
Summary: I'm sure there are other mockeries out there somewhere, here is mine. The only reason it't rated T is because of the language.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I DID NOT WRITE THIS! IT IS MOCKERY! Keep in mind my mockery may not be the best since I'm barely 13. **

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

**Your name isn't long enough. Make it longer. **

and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid

tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).

**Well, I know her, could I leave anyway?**

I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.

For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

**Good lord, she must have looked like a clown!**

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

**Because middle fingers always solve EVERYTHING!**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.

**I prefer diet blood. **

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.

**Isn't pink a preppy color?**

I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

**At least she doesn't look like a clown, but still, FOUR PAIRS?**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

**Okay, now she looks like a clown. **

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. **Well, considering the fact that they **** in the next chapter…** Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front.

**Corset stuff? Really? And who the hell puts on clothes AFTER putting on shoes?**

I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

**And then I dies of blood loss! The end! Yay!**

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

**You seem **_**so **_**happy about going to the concert Enoby. **

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)

**I could have lived a long and happy life not knowing what that license plate said. Then again I'll probably forget it soon anyway. **

and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

**Such a shame. And for a moment I thought you could write song lyrics better than stories. **

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest!

**OMFG CLIFFY HOW WILL WE EVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? Oh look, it's cheesecake. **


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

**I think curse words are the only thing Ebony knows how to say. **

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

**Draco: I love Harry!**

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

**You were pissed at him, but it's all gone by looking at his eyes?**

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

**I would rate this R, but this REALLY doesn't count as graphic. **

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then...

**Shh, this is one of my favorite parts!**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was...Dumbledore!

**Who would have guessed?**


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face.

**How the hell does someone cry tears of BLOOD? O_O**

Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

**Man, for a minute I thought they were happy. **

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

**They just did it in the forbidden forest and you let them go because DRACO LOVES EBONY?**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out...

**Who the hell wears that?**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing "I just wanna live" by Good Charlotte.

**Well, since I have no idea what most of these songs are, I'll just pretend he's going LALALALALALALA!**

I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

**I hope you mean shut up. **

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

**I thought you already had purple streaks?**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.

**Doesn't blood make the cereal get soggy quicker?**

Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it.

**Oh noes! You cursed at a goth! What ever shall you do?**

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick.

**Or maybe he poured ink all over his face. **

He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.

**Doesn't nearly every character have an English accent? Then again, I prefer Scottish accents. **

He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

**What about Draco, you whore!**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

**What? I thought vampires liked Dr. Pepper! I guess I'm not a vampire then, huh. **

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

**Now that I think of it, this story reminds me of my own writing skills. When I was nine. **


	7. Chapter 7

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

**Having problems and being a Satanist don't stop you from being a Mary-Sue. **

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).

**Yes. **

I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then...

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

**The way you describe it, yes. Sex doesn't stop this story from being ridiculous. It's still epic in its own way, but ridiculous all the same. **

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words... Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

**Who the hell said anything about AIDs?**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.

**Why didn't Draco put something on while Ebony was too? But then it wouldn't be so sexy, would it?**

I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

**Shouldn't Ebony be in class too? I suppose COOL PEOPLE don't have to go to class. **

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

**Does she even care that the entire class is probably staring at her right now?**


	8. Chapter 8

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

**No. It just means we have common sense. **

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.

**Another goth? Good lord!**

Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.

**Awh, why did you have to destroy Hermione too?**

Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.

**I guess I might as well be depressed too. (slits wrist)**

It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

**Are you even allowed to switch houses? Then again, this story has zipidy-doo-dah to do with the Harry Potter cannon. **

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.

**Unwarned point of view changes for the world!**

I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker.

We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.

I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.

**They should just change this place's name to The UnForbidden Forest. And she forgot to mention her tears had blood in them this time. **


	9. Chapter 9

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

**I still can't see Dumblydore saying "What the hell are you doing you mother fuckers?". Oh well, it makes an epic picture.**

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick!

***_* I wonder who this could be!**

He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was... Voldemort!

**Who knew?**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

**Since when is Crookshanks a curse word? **

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"

**The old English makes it sound like Voldy has a speech impediment. **

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

**I thought wizards couldn't use guns.**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

**Oh noes…. Voldemort sounds like a toothless second grader!**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.

**Dude-ur-so-retarded? Holy cow. **

"I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"**Hey Draco, I was sooo mad at you a minute ago, but I'm just gonna be happy now because Voldemort is gonna kill you!**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram

**Pentagrams only represent Satanists if it's upside down. Just wanted to point that out. **

(geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

**She EXPELLED? WTF?**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

**How on Earth do you make out and walk at the same time?**


	10. Chapter 10

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

**Yeah, sure, sure. **

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.

**Who in the world puts "gothic" IN THE NAME OF THE EBAND?**

I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar.

**Obviously. What kind of Mary Sue would Ebony be if she wasn't the lead singer in her own band?**

People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.

The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.)

** not Ron! **

and Hargrid.

**Hagrid's a goth?**

Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak)

**A steak? As long as it's medium-rare I'm good. **

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.

**That movie is FUNNY, not DEPPRESSING! **

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

**I'm still not convinced, slut. **

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him,

because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

**Out of character? No way! I couldn't tell at all!**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

**That scene actually makes me burst out laughing whenever I picture it. **

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

**His eyes were on fire? Can you just imagine how that would look like?**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely.

**Crying wisely? WISELY? -_-**

(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony **There should be a comma here. Of course, this whole story is just a spelling error. **Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

**Death by wrists, that's the way to go!**


	11. Chapter 11

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

**Oh yeah, REAL serious. **

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.

**That scene is the most epic thing I have ever read in my life. Ever. **

They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.

**Jupming up and down on the bed while naked? Sounds lovely. **

I grabbed a **T-bone** steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed!

I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly.

**Since when do they have sand in Hogwarts?**

I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings.

**How many pierces does Enoby have? I guess her ears are just full of unlimited holes. I wouldn't be surprised if she was really wearing 600 pairs. **

I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap

**Snap, Snap, Snap your fingers!**

was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating

**Huh? **

_**The verb MASTICATE has 2 senses:**_

_**1. grind and knead2. chew (food)**_

**What was he masticating?**

to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

**Didn't she already have a low-cut dress on?**

"Abra Kedavra!"

he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.

**Vampire is a guy, DUH! Guys don't have wombs!**

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times

**Infinite ammo, that's the way to go. **

and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**I can actually picture Dumbledore going NOOOOOOOOOO for an hour in slow motion. **

he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

**Isn't Hagrid 50 years old or something? **

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

**That's all you need to worry about Lupin. Just make sure that tape is safe. **

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

**Gothic version? **

"Because you're goffic?"

Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

**O. M. G. I never would have guessed that ANOTHER guy fell for the Mary Sue! What's next, the girls love her too?**


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! _

_**Well, so far this story had everything but pedos. Congrats. **_

_I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago_

_**Your boyfriend is a dragon too?**_

_had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. _

_"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid_

_**Psh, you're making fun of Hagrid for his hair? How mean!**_

_but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. _

_I stopped. "How did u know?" _

_"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!" _

_"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. _

_"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation."_

_**There is NO WAY you can cover up a scar that good. **_

_he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!" _

_Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's_

_**Mangos? I like papayas better. **_

_after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated_

_**Good luck. Drink plenty of water and maybe it'll go quicker. **_

_the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. _

_Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. _

_"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses. _

_"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik. _

_"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses." _

_**They're pipe bombs.**_

_"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses. _

_"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently. _

_"Whatever!" I yelled angirly. _

_He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! . _

_"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. _

_**Congratulations Enoby, you're the smrtz!**_

_"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" _

_And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. _

_**So if it was plaid, what would he be?**_

_"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" _

_**What happened to Drago?**_

_Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing. _

_"U c, Enobby," _

_**TWO Bs! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I GET TO READ ENOBY'S NAME WITH TWO Bs!**_

_Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT)_

_u mst find urslf 1st, k?" _

_**I SERIOUSLY can't read that. **_

_"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. _

_Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!" _

_Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front._

_**It just wouldn't be the same without corset stuff. **_

_Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!)_

_**Cool, I don't know her this time. (leaves room)**_

_and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. _

_**The clown joke is starting to get old, but she SO LOOKS LIKE A CLOWN!**_

_"You look kawai, girl._

_**Perfect. There are weeabos in the story too. **_

_" B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)_

_**I don't get it. **_

_you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. _

_**You know, her arms probably have more scars than skin. Then again maybe "Goths" find this attractive. **_

_I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes._

_**I thought they were in St. Mangos.**_

_Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. _

_**I'm allergic to griffin hair. I'll pass. **_

_He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. _

_"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way._

_**Who the heck says "Hi back"?**_

_We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. _

_**You whore. **_

_"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else. _

_**Horny. Simpletons? What kind of insult is that?**_

_"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily. _

_**You liked it Enoby. Admit it. **_

_Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. _

_**I bet he's faking it because he wants to do it with you. **_

_"NO!" I ran up closer. _

_"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. _

_"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!" _

_**He said that exact same line a few paragraphs ago! De-ja-vu! And really, bondage? **_

_SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 _

_**Funny how Raven stops helping you after chapter 16. Some sistas you are. **_

_HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I_


	13. Chapter 13

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

**They're not preps. They're people WHO HAVE BRAINS. **

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

**I can **_**so **_**see Dumblydore saying that. But not Dumbledore. **

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony."

**Yeah, who cares that one of your students are about to be killed by the drak lord. EBONY MISBEHAVED!**

he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying.

"My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

**You. Have. One. Messed. Up. Brain. Then again, you're fanfic makes you seem like a mentally retarded plankton. **

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then... suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra"

**Did he just come from a mosque? I didn't know Voldy was Muslim!**It was... Voldemort!


	14. Chapter 14

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

**:O**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood.

**Isn't that some sort of medical condition? The cast of this story should really go see a doctor. Maybe Ebony might be able to fix that Dementia of hers too. **

Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

**Of course not. Snaketail isn't Wormtail. He's Wormtail's teenage clone. **

"Huh?" I asked."Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail.

**That's the best greeting I have ever heard. **

I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

**High pressure blood is da bomb. **

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

**You kill him yourself and then you cry for his death? **

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us.

**Since when does Voldemort wear high heels?**

So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

**So they curse, but it's too much to use the proper terms for their reproductive organs?**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

**What kind of a Mary-Sue would you be if you were ugly?**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

**Yeah. Because Ebony is not a slut at all. **

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

**I think Ebony should be crowned the queen of Mary-Sues. **


End file.
